Where am I going with my life? What would it be like to know that I had wasted my time in this world and find out it is too late to do anything about it. I must be self-conscious and be truthful to my conscious. That’s all I can do and pray to God for Mercy.
In my daily Salah (Muslim prayer), every time I finish a prayer, I Salaam once to the right shoulder and once to the left shoulder, to my Recording Angels.
One day, the moment I said Salaam to my Recording Angel to my right, I heard a voice echoing inside me:
“You complain that you made a big mistake in your life—given a second chance, what would you do differently?”
I paused a minute and searched my mind. Then, silently, I responded to my Recording Angel: “I wouldn’t have left my country when my family and I were facing danger. I should have faced the difficult situation with courage and dignity.” I talked to myself, and I felt that I had made a big mistake. Instead, I took an easy way out; I left my friends, family, and culture and my country and took shelter in America. Since then, everything that I knew about my life has changed.
Then the next moment, I Salaamed to my left, to my left Recording Angel. The Angel was reading my mind, and I heard his voice now:
“Are you sure about that? My notes say you love your American-Christian grandchildren as they stand today. Think and fear Allah, the All-Knowing!”
I am confused, my Lord. Guide me through. Begged for Mercy.
My Salah was over, and I thanked God in my Prayer.
All these years, I was so busy with myself, and my family that I forgot to pray and thank Allah for taking care of me and be grateful. All these times my wife happened to be thankful and pray to Allah. So, I turn to her for help. She gave me this:
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the lights.”
I turned on my lights and started to pray. It changed the way I view the world and the way I see myself. I began working hard to make sense of the world and my place in it. My life began to keep moving. I made friends with my soul, started writing to escape to my mind to find where my conscious fits in and speaks the truth of the heart.